Thursday, April 8, 2010

EXACTLYHOWIFEELRIGHTNOW

~!@(#$*#@!*@$%@$~!*
Here it goes...

So I don't know if it's the constant shitty weather or the fact that it has always been hard for me to like living in Bellingham, but whatever it is has caused me to be in this recent state of constant bitter wonderment. 
Like,

"WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO BE IN THIS TOWN WHEN ALL MY FRIENDS GET TO PURSUE MY SAME DREAMS AT ART SCHOOLS IN MUCH GREATER CITIES SURROUNDED BY MORE INSPIRATION & OPPORTUNITIES?!"

Sometimes, no, wait, MOST ALL times, I wish I would have just started at the school that I wanted. Of course, I never tried ($$$$...). I mean, I don't completely regret what I have experienced here in good ole gray Bellingham! The small, supportive, artistic community has made it easy for me to collaborate with amazing people and be a part of a lot of art exhibitions and publications, something I would be intimidated to put myself out there for at a big East Coast art school. BUT! I still can't help the way I feel! And it just sucks because I know I am just as good, if not better, than these kids at art school. 

Gah! I just need to learn to move forward, stay motivated and most of all learn to start being more proactive, because that's what will make the difference...

Oh well, thank Oprah for beautiful places like this that will soon be a part of my life (Sasquatch!)


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