Seeing A Camera Vomit

Guys, guys, guys!

2010-09-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

This is probably awkward since my last post was about "mini-divorces", BUTTTTT! I am here to announce that I will be making a leave from this blog to another one! It has been a wild ride guys, really! For those of you who stuck with me through all 56 posts, or just stopped by, I tip my hat to ya.

As you may or may not know, in less than a week, after my two wondrous years in Bellingham, I will be starting a new photo program at Seattle Central, which I have been waiting to experience for a long time. Let it be known, however, that I am not cutting ties with any of you in "The City of Subdued (dude) Excitement". You all, along with this beautiful city, had such a part in making me the person I am, especially creatively. As I move on to my adventures in Seattle, I wanted to start on something new, a way to mark the beginning of this experience, soooo you can follow me on my new blog: http://seeingacameravomit.tumblr.com

Don't worry, I promise less teeny bopper diary entries. Not that those aren't great...
Cheers to a new blog ya'll!

Mini Divorce

2010-06-15T22:50:00.000-07:00

Carmen,

Thank you so much for the wonderful card; of course I do feel a little like we're going through a mini divorce, and I was the last one to find out that you're running off with another... School.

It's been a pleasure working with you. You're a very talented artist, and I have high expectations of you and your art career. Your determination, foresight, and ability to approach image-making with a creative eye will serve you well as you follow a new path in Seattle.

Anyway, I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your future endeavors. I also wanted to let you know that my door is always open and if you ever need a letter of support or anything else, please let me know.

KEEP ME POSTED,

Garth

202020TWENTY

2010-05-18T12:50:00.000-07:00

I turn Gary Payton (20) today. Russian mafia disturbances, fire extinguishers and lame landlords need not apply!

Last Night Was Great

2010-04-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

It was.

Tulip Fields

2010-04-22T22:34:00.000-07:00

Went to the Tulip Fields with my color photo and alternative photo class the other day. Last time I went I was 8 and pictured in front of a never ending field of colorful tulips that reached kingdom come. That wasn't there this time, so found inspiration elsewhere.

Speaking of white dreams...

EXACTLYHOWIFEELRIGHTNOW

2010-04-08T00:24:00.000-07:00

~!@(#$*#@!*@$%@$~!*

Here it goes...

So I don't know if it's the constant shitty weather or the fact that it has always been hard for me to like living in Bellingham, but whatever it is has caused me to be in this recent state of constant bitter wonderment.

Like,

"WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO BE IN THIS TOWN WHEN ALL MY FRIENDS GET TO PURSUE MY SAME DREAMS AT ART SCHOOLS IN MUCH GREATER CITIES SURROUNDED BY MORE INSPIRATION & OPPORTUNITIES?!"

Sometimes, no, wait, MOST ALL times, I wish I would have just started at the school that I wanted. Of course, I never tried ($$$$...). I mean, I don't completely regret what I have experienced here in good ole gray Bellingham! The small, supportive, artistic community has made it easy for me to collaborate with amazing people and be a part of a lot of art exhibitions and publications, something I would be intimidated to put myself out there for at a big East Coast art school. BUT! I still can't help the way I feel! And it just sucks because I know I am just as good, if not better, than these kids at art school.

Gah! I just need to learn to move forward, stay motivated and most of all learn to start being more proactive, because that's what will make the difference...

Oh well, thank Oprah for beautiful places like this that will soon be a part of my life (Sasquatch!)

YELLINGHAM! TWO THOUSAND N TEN!

2010-04-06T15:17:00.001-07:00

This year marks Bellingham's first ever Yellingham Music Festival! It is a 3-day house show festival and this year they are ending the festival with a show at my house. Here's the poster I made for it! This may or may not be the most intense poster I have ever designed.

P.S. All the text? Yeah, that was done purely by finger-mouse coordination haha

Oh, yeah,

2010-04-05T01:30:00.001-07:00

I have a "boyfriend" now. I need to learn to stop doubting

the good things that happen to me.

The First of April

2010-04-02T10:21:00.000-07:00

Prank plotting 7th graders Lora, Bradley and myself. Click it and weep.

Enter, Entering, Entered.

2010-03-30T01:09:00.000-07:00

So, I guess Spring Break 2010 wasn't as brainless and lazy as I would have liked it to be. Maybe a couple more days would have been nice to have, but hey I ain't mad atcha!

Here are the pieces I have entered recently to the "You Want Some Of This?" juried art competition. 15 bucks gets you 3 pieces, which will be juried by Keith Boadwee himself and a chance to be shown

at the Corridor Gallery in Seattle. Rad.

...and for Beyond Borders:

(the one of Lauren with the diamonds on her face was also entered for BB)

Girl's gotta keep the right side of her brain pumping somehow!

"%@($#@$)^~!@)*

2010-03-11T06:05:00.002-08:00

I am a withering crop with my sun

being the mental asylum lighting of either the printmaking lab or the fabrics room, my soil being campus grounds/the sofa in the art department and my water being a cough I have had for 3 weeks.

WELCOME TO HELL WEEK 2010!!!

Okay maybe I am exaggerating with that first metaphor, but let's put it this way: the last 72 hours of my life have been spent in the art building. Coughing. Printmaking. Hand Sewing. Gluing. Coughing. Getting Sore. Dying a little on the inside. Wearing the same outfit to school.

"Carmen, please get some rest this weekend," my mom told me over the phone today.

I wish! Too bad I still have my entire printmaking portfolio, a fabrics final, two art history exams (grade-dependent!) and the Beyond Borders juried art competition to submit to! All of which must be done by this weekend. I even have to postpone taking Kyle's (Hunting Hat) band photos. Boooooooo!

Well, here are the current fruits of my labor/indentured servitude:

Lil' Kim T-Bone Steak Photo Lithograph print

I contacted MEATPAPER magazine with these pictures. They were interested. Woo!

Katazome Pieces for Fibers/Fabrics class

The second piece's mosaic in the middle was done with broken mirror pieces I found in my alleyway. Everything is hand-stitched...I've never sewn until now.

Lauryn Hill as Queen of The Mic Hand-Drawn Lithograph print

By the time I finished tracing the layers and maneuvering around minor problems, it was 4:30 a.m. so the quality of the prints themselves are not what I wanted. They will have to do for critique but will be redone for the final portfolio.

And for dramatic effect, a sublime film starring Lauryn Hill:

Labryinth

2010-03-09T09:52:00.001-08:00

Three of my photos got accepted and will be published in my school's art and literary publication Labryinth Magazine! Yeah!

---

2010-02-08T02:01:00.001-08:00

Before the internet our world was smaller, our interactions were meaningful and our hearts were too big. I just want to see you. In person.

Glad Glass//Dirty Bird Cabaret

2010-02-02T01:56:00.000-08:00

Here's the poster I made for this Friday, February 5th's show at the Underground at 8:00 p.m. with Glad Glass (Laine and Cora) and The Dirty Bird Cabaret. It's a part of the the Underground Coffeehouse's Concert series and will be for free! Should be exciting to see this printed out around campus:)

L8LY

2009-12-30T12:30:00.000-08:00

new trinkets from my brain

for the Drug Call 4 Art at school

for a personal series I've started:

Fffffffffound

2009-12-02T22:19:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time, long time, shouldnt have left you, left you without an epiphany?

After so many years of hodgepodge bullshit artistic statements, I think I finally understands my artistic intent with photography. It was the greatest, most quiet and natural coming to terms experience of my life and now everything makes sense...! As artificial as it sounds, someone commented on one of my photos on my Flickr, and it just brought out this huge run-on sentence response. Within that reaction I literally summarized to myself what it is that I want to investigate and further develop with my photography and it brought a much, MUCH needed cohesiveness and concentration to my photography. Its a great feeling I have been needing for a while.

*M E N T A L D E P A R T U R E // T H I S I S W H Y I A M S I N G L E*

________________

2009-07-21T00:57:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry. But I can't sympathize with someone who lets this stupid, pathetic mainstream teenage incentive rule the way they think and therefore lead them to make decisions only to impress their less than genuine peers. No way. Think a little and respect yourself and for once don't try to be what these empty jars of superficiality that you call acquaintances tell you to be.

Listening to Chromatics and working on more triangle pieces.

Clearly

2009-06-27T23:57:00.000-07:00

A visual update of my life

Vein Sensations!

2009-05-21T23:56:00.000-07:00

The closer and closer I get to experiencing 3 days of Sasquatch, the more and more sensitive my veins are when practicing the sensation of blood rushing through them in the name of the euphoric good time that is about to ensue.

::I//can't//wait::

Also, I hate to be that cliche college student who goes to a liberal arts college and feels the need to reference Alice In Wonderland everytime she finds something aesthetically pleasing and/or "trippy!", but please look at this.

Cody Madison Style Shotz

2009-05-19T23:54:00.000-07:00

So my dear friend Cody Madison is applying to work at Buffalo Exchange and they needed some "shots" to I guess "determine" whether or not he is "hip" and/or has "style". Personally, I think he looks bangin' and wears his shit well, so this was a fun one to do, and hopefully my photos help him get the job! :)

(Hahahahaha)

Oh and here are some of my favorites:

"Cody and His Peacoat"

"Cody and His Grimace" (my personal favorite)

"Cody and His Peacoat 2"

"Cody and His Crystal Castles Stance"

"Cody and The Shit On The Ground"

"Cody and His Balancing Act"

It's just my birthday, its just a rainy day

2009-05-18T23:47:00.000-07:00

Nineteen years old. Really?

Third Grader Street Cred

2009-05-04T15:32:00.000-07:00

My chipped tooth n' messed up bike make me feel like a gnarly 3rd grader.

You Have No Idea How Important Your Expression Is

2009-04-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

Going to United States of Electronica last night was the closest thing to having my heartbroken brain replaced with the idea that there is still love out there for me to give and get.

[Thanks for the photos Marybeth!http://www.flickr.com/photos/marybethsc/]

Also, I have been listening to this Four Tet remix of "Weight of My Words" by Kings of Convenience over n over n over and it makes me think about this summer and how good it will be and how much I need it.

Countdowns of things to look forward to:

My birthday: 23 days

Sasquatch/Lauren's Birthday: 28 days

Photo Show: 36 days

Schools out!: 49 days

Geometry Lesson 101

2009-04-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

Triangles, while strong at the base, prove their strength further when they cover your face. This will surely require more artistic investigation.

Crying in Public

2009-04-14T02:31:00.000-07:00

Me and Anthony decided that tonight would be a good night for some spoken word at the Darkroom Gallery downtown. I was working on a new piece about, well, you know... and I really like it. I finished the second half of the piece while sitting in my seat nervously waiting for my name to be called.

I don't think I have ever read a poem with so much "umph!" before in my life. I said what I needed to say. I also had to stop myself from crying in front of strangers. One day, I hope he hears it.

Recovery pt. II

2009-04-12T01:37:00.000-07:00

Spring Quarter.

Smoking Fiend.

Drinking Deemed.

Reminiscing Remote Control.

Spoken Word Sleuth.

Good friends.

All of a sudden, I think I got what I needed.

Please, please, please don't let this leave me.

On a side note, fuck the sound of my roommate and her boyfriend kissing like retarded lovers. FUCK.

Recovery

2009-04-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

...Mass transit shadow puppets...

I'm listening to the Amelie soundtrack and looking at pictures I took on Coney Island. What is my problem? I want it all back.

Also. Me walking Brooklyn Bridge at night? That's the kind of shit you look back on and say "Yeah, that was a good moment in my youth."

? ? ?

2009-03-29T12:21:00.000-07:00

Did that week really just happen?

My heart shakes in its boots every time I think about it.

I love you my New York lovelies.

keep your eyes peeled for pictures from the trip and a short movie i'm working on:)

Ridiculousness In The Eye Of The Beholder

2009-03-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

There's no denying it. I am preparing myself for this trip in a ridiculous manner.

T-minus

2009-03-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my room. The sun is out. I am out. I am listening to Wolf Parade. I am trying not be a lone wolf.

Part of the recipe is getting out of here.

For taste, I am respecting my emotions more over those who don't give a flying, aerodynamic fuck about me. In 4 days I will be on a plane, giving a flying, aerodynamic fuck about me.

This has been the most long drawn out wait of my entire life. You

would think I am pregnant. The past days have been better but have really helped expose a new side of people. Some good, some bad.

At the moment, I am erasing every residue of annoyance that is crusting over in my brain from certain people and calling it a day. I am going to start making changes to clean my mind up.

See you later Bellingham.

For my East-Coast darlings, I will see you soon. So soon.

Lone Wolf

2009-03-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

errrg. errrg. errrg.

With only ten days until I will be tugging at the sleeves of the New York skyline and saturating the walkways of the Brooklyn Bridge with pure felicity you would think I would be doing better.

This is stupid. Everyday is a bi-polar struggle.

I miss him. I got this. I feel useless. I am strong. I just want to be friends. I miss my family. I just want to be with them.

Watching my roommate and her boyfriend turn our room into a 3 person room and hearing the sounds of kissing echo through my room every night for the past 2 weeks is not that fun.

Because of all of this I find myself reaching out to strangers a lot more. Took a picture of this girl I don't know. I think she's beautiful.

Woe is me in thermal-camera mode. Pretty ridiculous? Check.

N(ew) Y(ork) C(ares)

2009-03-05T19:37:00.001-08:00

I am doing okay. I hate relying on reminiscence though. It's starting to slur the lines between what I want and reality.

It's caused me to be so bi-polar these past few days. During the day, I am so self-sufficient and then nighttime hits or I will be in a certain environment and I will miss him all over again.

Especially when I am in my own bed and the streaks of light from outside shaves the top of my loft with all these images and memories.

I just want to get to the point where my heart has caught up with my mind. I just need time.

***

Tonight I went downtown to the Pickford by myself to photograph this film showing and book signing of this really awesome author/illustrator named Brian Selznick.

Selznick writes these amazing children's books, and illustrates them like graphic novels.

I picked one of them up from the library today, "The Invention of Hugo Cabaret." I hope it occupies my mind so that the sounds of my roommate and her boyfriend do not.

***

Ladies and gentle-men, all I know is that Spring Break is going to be so therapeutic. Going to Brooklyn and exploring the veins of the city through the subway with a camera and the warmth of my friends is all the medicine I need now. Honestly.

It's that thuggish ruggish bone. I don't want to lose who I am.

The Stranger

2009-03-02T10:00:00.001-08:00

Boy, what a shitty weekend!

Euwww grossss human emotions suck! Sometimes I

wish I was a heartless robot, really-really.

Last night I went to Fonte Fest in Anacortes. It was at

the Department of Safety. I don't think I have ever felt so safe in my life. Well, I met this guy Kenneth from the Tri-Cities. I took his portrait and we talked about post-depression experiences, love life, travel, black eyes, hating and loving Bellingham, etc.

I forget the name of this band but I remember their music being really good and how that still didn't help my shitty state of mind. It was like the kind of music that has that undertone that just claws at your heart and it's so good but it would show up as the background music for the most ironically depressing part of a movie.

Augustine's "band", Post Post Fuck Fuck, played last. They were a group of Bellingham rrriot girrrrls yelling about having your girlfriend's check your cervix and sexual assault in the community.

At one point we all held hands and screamed and banged on shit. It was very therapeutic, to say the least.

Everything is Everything

2009-03-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

I took some pictures for my college newspaper, The Western Front, of some Korean and Japanese exchange students at a Global Gathering event. They made these really glitzy, feathered masks and right now my state of mind is so shitty that thinking about how much fun those students had makes me so happy.

I wish I had my own mask right now.

Fresh Packaging

2009-02-27T00:09:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in the lounge of my dorm, it's 12:11 a.m. and I am listening to Portishead. The mental hospital lighting is always a nice touch, you know?

Well, even with all the snow classes were still in session today. But, that's okay because I love the snow. Especially at night. Have you ever turned off the lights in your room and opened the blinds on a snowy night and let the orange glow leak through? It's all I ever look forward to lately.

All of today was dedicated to me just coasting. This whole week has been that way. Just being in a sort of purgative state of mind...a funk if you will. And what I really want is something, anything,someone,anyone to snap me back into creative enthusiasm.

So, in my attempts to combat creative cock blocking, I am submitting 8 photos to Western's literary magazine, Jeopardy. Oh! Nic Brodine got a black eye from some lighter throwing incident? Whatever happened, it's equated to yet another fun portrait for my "Black Eye Portrait" series. So far I have Patty (pukinpatty.blogspot.com!), Emma and now Nic. So that helps.

Or purrrhaps tomorrow night's participation in the poetry slam with Anthony (opatsi.blogspot.com!) will rev things up? The Underground Coffeehouse, 8 p.m., free, be there and get your brain sockets filled with verbal juice. Mmmm, doesn't that sound good?

Aww, check it out. The Dictator's first promo shot. Hah.